Category: wedding games & activities

Seated Wedding Reception Games

Nothing is worse than having a wedding reception filled with seated guests who look tired and maybe a little bit bored. Maybe this wedding doesn’t feature a DJ and rockin’ music. Or maybe the crowd isn’t into that whole dancing thing.

What to do? It’s not that hard. There are a myriad of activities you can plan that will not only engage and entertain the guests, but also help them get to know each other and – most importantly – the bride and groom just a little bit better.

Here’s one that’s fun and might remind you just a little bit of a football game. Make a placard for each guest. On one side, letter “Bride” and on the other, “Groom”. Someone, and if you have a DJ it can be him or her, or the best man or maid of honor, asks a series of questions. They might be simple, like “who was born in New York City”? Or they might be more complicated, such as “who, at 6, broke their leg when they were playing with their German shepherd puppy”?

Guests don’t yell their answer, but rather show their placard, turning it to the “bride” side of they think the question pertains to the bride or to the “groom” side if it’s the opposite. The guests’ guesses can be revealing, but even more revealing, are the true answers. It’s a great, fun way for everyone to get to know a little more about the bride and groom.

One word of caution about the above activity: Keep ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends out of the questions and don’t ask anything that might be a little too revealing or too risqu. Remember, grandmothers and grandfathers and young children will likely be present!

If it’s too much work to create signs for each person, you can create just two and create two teams – a team of men and a team of women. Grouped together, the teams can work together to decide on the answer and answer as a group. This “men versus women” concept is always popular and sure to be fun for everyone.

One silly game that’s always a hit really puts the groom in the spotlight. How well does he know the feel and touch of his new wife? In this game, everyone finds out. You can do this several ways. You can enlist just the wedding party in this game, or as many of the wedding guests that want to participate.

Line each participant up and blindfold the groom. Put the bride somewhere in the mix, and send the groom on a hunt for his bride. The participants can either shake the groom’s hand or give him a kiss on the cheek. In some versions, he might feel their hair or their leg. The details are up to you.

Depending on how far you want to take this game, you can add a fun element to it that is sometimes popular. You have the groom feel the leg of each participant. The best man, or other male member of the wedding party, rolls up his pant leg, puts on a garter and has the groom feel that. The groom has to kiss whoever he thinks is his bride, while still blindfolded. Often, he ends up kissing a man.

For an activity that allows the guests to be audience members instead of participants, consider the game of “feed me”. In this game, the bride is seated and the groom is (again) blindfolded. He’s given a piece of food and then spun around a few times so he’s a little bit dizzy. Guided only by the helpful words of his new bride, he has to find her and get the piece of food into her mouth. Be sure to have the wedding party shadowing him so there are no accidents.

Once the groom has fed his new wife, the tables are turned and she is blindfolded and must find him.

A few notes about this activity: when feeding the bride, don’t use wedding cake or a piece of bread with dip. In other words, don’t use anything too messy. If the groom has a hard time finding her mouth, he might likely smear the food on the bride’s face and that is something that won’t make a bride – prettily made up just hours before – too happy.

PPPPP

Wedding Guest Book Activities

Traditional brides don’t have to have traditional guest books. Certainly you can purchase a standard guest book and ask your guests to sign it, but there are so many more guest book-like activities that are more unique.

Let’s move from the popular to the less well known. One very popular option allows guests to sign a picture of the bride and groom. Simply take a picture of the bride and groom and have it matted in a mat several inches larger than the photo itself. Place a frame around this, but don’t include the glass or Plexiglas frame. You’ll add this later. Some people prefer to use “bulldog” clips to keep the mat together instead of putting the picture in the frame. The picture can be framed after the wedding.

Most couples choose a nice photo of themselves for this picture/guestbook option, although if there’s a formal engagement photo, this is an excellent way to preserve that photo and show it off to friends and family. If photos are taken before the wedding with the bride and groom in their wedding attire, you can certainly use this photo. Many couples opt to either leave the mat empty or they place a temporary picture in the mat and add a wedding picture later.

Be sure to have a nice Sharpie marker handy and place the picture on either a sturdy easel or on a table where guests are sure to see it.

Another option is instead of providing a picture of the bride and groom to sign, the guests are provided with a picture of themselves! Simply provide a Polaroid camera and assign someone the job of taking pictures of the guests as they arrive at the reception. Once the picture is dry, provide a Sharpie and they can sign the picture, make a note to the bride and groom or hand draw a silly picture. It can be whatever the guest wants it to be. This is a unique, and personal, way for guests to “sign in” at the wedding.

Whoever handles the taking of the pictures should also handle putting them in an album of some sort. A scrap booker might provide a special memory book with the Polaroid pictures in it, or the pictures can simply be placed in a nice album and presented later to the bride and groom.

Many guests don’t give a great deal of thought to the guest book. They whiz by the guest book table more concerned with getting their cocktail and hitting the dance floor. If this is a concern, provide a “traveling” guest book. Send each guest something either to sign or decorate before the wedding.

In this “traveling” guest book scenario, there are several options. One of the easiest is to send each guest a small piece of paper and ask them to write something meaningful or thoughtful for the bride and groom on it. The pieces of paper are returned prior to the wedding (to ensure a better response, provide a self-addressed stamped envelope with the paper) and can be compiled in some meaningful way for the bride and groom and presented to them on their wedding day.

If the guest list is a creative or particularly close group, there is one other option that is even more meaningful. Again, in a scrapbook fashion, send each guest a piece of paper to sign or decorate. The paper should be the size of a photo album, so it might be a 6 x 6 piece of paper, an 8 x 8 piece of paper, or even 12 x 12, if the guests are up to that larger size.

In a letter that arrives with the paper, the guests are instructed to create a memory page for the bride and groom. They might include photos, quotes, little anecdotal stories, or combine all of these with stickers or embellishments. It’s thoughtful, meaningful and personal and it’s an excellent way to include guests who might not be able to attend the wedding, but would still like to be a part of it.

PPPPP

Buffet Table Activities

Most wedding receptions include a buffet-style meal where everyone stands in an enormous line waiting while those at the food table decide if they want Italian or Ranch dressing on their salad.

There has to be a more unusual way to get people to their food, and a faster one at that, right? There are several fun options you can employ to feed your guests quickly and with a minimum of groans of hunger.

Here are some fun options.

One of the most popular is the number system. Each table is assigned a number and the MC or DJ calls numbers at various intervals. The people at that numbered table then find the buffet and begin their feast. You can place the numbers in a variety of locations. For the most utilitarian version, just place the number in the flower arrangement on the table.

Some brides don’t like this look of numbered table as if at a convention. In that case, you can put the numbers under the flower arrangements, or under the chairs. If you have place cards at the tables, you can write a small number somewhere on the card so people know which table they’re sitting at. For a fun variation, you can have the florist play around with the table floral arrangements. If the arrangements are going to have a dozen flowers, you could have the florist add one extra flower to table “one”, two extra flowers for table “two” and so on and make the guests figure out which number table they are based on how many extra flowers they have in their arrangement.

The flower method could be cost-prohibitive, of course, if you have a large guest list and many tables.

Now, if the number system doesn’t thrill you or make you think “unique”, there are other options. Each table can have a color and the DJ simply calls out the color name. Depending, again, on how many tables you have at your reception, you could coordinate the tablecloths with the color of the table. So you might have white, pink, lavender, beige, and yellow tablecloths, and the guests sitting at that table simply move to the buffet table when the color of their tablecloth is called.

Another popular option for moving people easily to the buffet table involves having a little fun with your guests. You provide each table with a buzzer, either a bell like you might find at a store, or a small silver bell. Just something they can buzz or ring. The DJ or MC asks a trivia question, or a question about the bride and groom. The tables buzz in with their answers. The guests at the table with the first correct buzzed answer move to the buffet table. You repeat the process until everyone is finally on their way to getting some grub.

The trivia method is an especially fun way to help guests to get to know one another, as they might have to work together to come up with an answer. If your guests are hungry, you’re sure to hear muffled groans and sighs of exasperation. But even with the small complaints, this is always a crowd pleaser because it’s fun and gets everyone involved.

Now, this next option is fun but can engender a bit of jealousy sometimes. When people get their place card, whether it’s placed on the table, or they pick it up when they look at the seating chart, you can put a number on it. But not everyone at the same table will have the same number. If you have 100 guests, for example, you might choose to have 10 people at the buffet table at a time. So each person would be assigned a number 1 through 10.

In the same scenario as above, the DJ or MC will call a number and those numbers will head for the buffet table. There are sure to be more than one person from each table heading for the buffet table, but the guests at each table won’t get their food at the same time.

This staggered feeding can be fun or a nuisance, depending. It solves the problem of half the room being finished with their meal while waiting for the “later” table to finish theirs before the festivities start, but it can also mean that one or two guests might be long done with their food (or wanting to head back for seconds) when others at the table haven’t even eaten yet.

PPPPP

Bridal Shower Games

If you’re hosting a bridal shower, there are literally hundreds of games to choose from. Some are silly, some are serious, but all are about having some fun with the bride before she’s married. Here’s a sampling.

One fun game really puts the bride on the spot with regard to her knowledge of her husband-to-be’s life. Prior to the party, have someone ask the groom a series of questions, such as where he was born, what his favorite food is, things like that. Then at the bridal shower, put the bride on the spot by asking her the answers to the questions. See how many she can get right (hopefully at least half!). If she does well, give the girl a prize; she deserves one.

One all-time favorite game is toilet paper wedding dresses. This game involves separating the guests into teams consisting of at least 2 people and no more than 5. Give each team a roll or toilet paper (or 2) and have them fashion a wedding dress out of the toilet paper. One of the team members will volunteer as the model. Provide them with a “dress up trunk” filled with jewelry and shoes. They must make the dress out of the toilet paper, but they can accessorize with the provided jewelry, shoes, gloves and hats. Place a time limit on this (5 minutes is adequate) and have the bride vote on the best dress. Be sure to provide prizes for the winning team!

Another fun game that’s always a hit is making the bride get dressed while blindfolded. Tell the bride she is to pretend she’s on her honeymoon and the power has gone off. She must prepare for her wedding night in complete darkness. Provide her with a suitcase filled with items and then blindfold her. She must get dressed in a certain period of time (2 minutes is adequate) while completely blindfolded and with no help from the guests. Include some silly items like oversized sunglasses, garden gloves or a flannel nightgown just to make it fun. This is a photo opportunity, so be sure someone is waiting to record the end result!

Another fun game puts the shower guests more on the sport than the bride. In this game, everyone puts their purses in the center of the room. Create a list of items commonly found in a purse and assign a point value and create a list of less common items and give them a higher point value. So you might give lipstick 2 points, a tampon 3 points, and sunglasses 5 points. But a granola bar could be 10 points and a staple remover, 15 points. Then go through the purses awarding points and give the person with the highest number of points (and therefore, the most items and probably highest number of unusual items) a prize.

Before the shower, create bingo cards for this shower bingo game. In the squares, put pictures of items you think the bride will receive at the shower. So, boxes might include things like lingerie, towels and the like. As the bride opens gifts, have people mark off that item on their bingo card. If nobody gets a “bingo” give a prize to the person who marked off the most number of items.

This next game is a derivation of a popular game that’s often played at bachelorette parties and involves a stripper. This is the clean version. About 30 minutes into the party, have the bride leave the room and pass out pieces of paper. Have everyone write on the paper everything they can remember about the bride’s outfit, hair, etc. How many rings is she wearing? What color is her blouse? Is she wearing open or closed toed shoes? Once everyone is done recording their observations, the bride comes back into the room and a prize is awarded to the person with the best observation skills.

PPPPP

Wedding Toast Activities

Giving a toast is a responsibility that puts fear in the speaking hearts of most members of a wedding party. While it’s not usually something that is particularly long or involved, it’s public speaking (which doesn’t sit well with many people) and really puts people on the spot.

If you are planning a wedding and know that most members of this wedding party are hams who won’t mind the whole “public speaking” thing, then by all means keep the toasts traditional with dad, the best man and others taking their expected turns at the microphone.

But if you’re looking for something different, either because you want to save putting people on the spot, or you simply want to do something different and fun, read on.

First, you can certainly take the whole toast thing off the agenda if you wish. There are no rules requiring a toast at any wedding. Weddings should be unique events and reflect the personalities of the bride and groom.

But if you want to do something a little different, there are options. You can go the video route, which asks people to essentially make a toast on camera and then the video is given to the bride and groom later. This isn’t a particularly unique idea, but it does solve the issue of not wanting to put people on the spot and still gives everyone a chance to say something special to the bride and groom.

If your guest list includes many outgoing people then consider “pass the microphone”. This can work in several ways. You can either be silly with it, or deadly serious. Most people like silly. Say dad takes the microphone first. His last name ends with T (so, let’s say dad’s last name is Smith). He must find someone whose first name begins with a T (Tom? Tony? Tina? Theresa?) and pass the microphone to that person, who then gives a toast.

This method of giving toasts does put people on the spot (certainly before the fun begins you can warn them so if they are really uncomfortable, they can escape to the restroom or bar) but it can also be a lot of fun. Getting people when they least expect it and then asking them to remember something funny or meaningful about the bride and groom can result in interesting, funny and truthful results.

You might also decide that one person at each table be required to give a toast. Number the tables and at various intervals, have the MC or DJ call a number, which will require guests at that table to decide amongst themselves who will give the toast at that table. Certainly, more than one person can if they like, but there will likely be at least one ham at each table who will enjoy standing up and toasting the newlyweds.

Say you have plenty of public speakers in the group, and finding willing toast participants won’t be a problem. But you think the subject matter might be. There’s an easy solution to this problem. You can provide open-ended topics for the toast speakers. Say you are providing an “open mike” toast arrangement, where anyone can request the microphone and offer a toast. The DJ, MC or someone else in the wedding party (perhaps the maid of honor or best man) can offer the speaker a surprise topic, which might be pulled from a champagne flute or drawn out of the floral arrangement on the head table. There might be slips of paper to choose, or just one sheet of paper with several ideas.

The speaker might choose to finish this sentence, “I remember when (groom’s name here) was a little boy, he always …” or answer this question, “When was (insert bride’s name here) at her silliest? Tell us the story”. You might have to give each speaker a minute or two to collect their thoughts, but you’re sure to have some interesting stories, some unique anecdotes and some different perspectives on the bride and groom.

PPPPP

Fun Wedding Music Activities

Music is as much a component of a good wedding as food and drink. You can have a wedding without music, but it’s likely it will seem a little quiet and dull. So whether you have a full live band, a string quartet, a DJ spinning tunes or recorded music from a boom box, it should be included.

But music’s not just for dancing. There are a myriad of activities you can plan around the music that will add an element of fun to your wedding.

One popular idea is to play musical chairs. Sure, this is a fun kid’s game and you don’t want to insult your guests in any way, but you can have some fun with this version of musical chairs. The chairs can be just about anything, from chairs lined up from the food tables, to the floor, if you think your guests might be open to sitting on the floor (and then having to get up and down again). One fun option is to use the men as the chairs – they kneel on the floor, with one knee on the floor and the other bent. The women sit lightly on the men’s’ knees as they are playing musical chairs. When either the man or woman falls down, that couple is out, until one couple is left.

Some brides and grooms like to play musical chairs in order to give away the table centerpiece, which many guests like to take home. Instead of assigning a number and awarding the centerpiece to the person in possession of that number, you have each table play musical chairs until the person left standing is the one that gets to take home the centerpiece.

How about a rousing game of “name that tune”? This is a game that’s best for a smaller, intimate wedding where everyone knows the bride and groom well. Prior to the wedding, whoever is planning the wedding should get a list of favorite songs of both the bride and groom. Create a CD of those songs, and then create a game of “name that tune”. Guests can be divided into teams and then be played just a small snippet of each song.

After guests hear that first snippet, they can then “bid” on how quickly they can name the tune. So one group might say they can name the tune in 10 seconds, while the other group might say 5 seconds. Once one group has bowed out, the other group will then have to “name that tune”. This is a fun game that gets everyone involved and which the bride and groom are particularly delighted by.

Depending on the style of the wedding, there are many fun games you can play to get the bride and groom out on the dance floor. Now, if this is a very large and very elegant wedding, this option might not work since there is certain decorum to maintain, but for a casual, fun, family-centered wedding some of these games can be fun.

If guests want to “call out” the wedding couple onto the dance floor, they can be asked to get out on the dance floor themselves first and hula hoop or perform their own version of a break dance. Much in the way guests sometimes have to “perform” to get the couple the kiss this is another way to get the guests involved and having fun in order to create fun wedding memories for the bride and groom.

PPPPP

Nice Bachelorette Party Games

Planning a bachelorette party is one of the easiest parts of a wedding to plan. There are literally hundreds of ideas for things to do and a myriad of options for games. Many of those ideas are a bit on the racy side, but there are plenty that that are just plain clean fun.

For example, one popular bachelorette game involves asking the guests to become poets. Ahead of the party, take 50 index cards and on half, write romantic things, like “roses”, “cuddly”, etc. On the other 25 cards, write very non-romantic words or phrases, like “nose hairs” or “ironing”. Then have each guest draw one card from each pile. They should then create a silly poem based on the two very different words or phrases they have chosen, for example, “Roses are red, your nose hairs are ewwwww.”

One fun game that is sure to engender at least a few laughs is “name that item”. Take a paper bag (a fabric bag is better if you have one) and fill the bag with typical “male items”. The items might include a razor, a money clip, a tie, shoe polish, etc. Seal the bag, or fold it over really well. Then have each guest feel the bag and try to guess the contents. Have them write their guesses on a piece of paper. After everyone has had a chance to feel the bag, the contents are shown and the person with the most number of correct guesses gets the bag of male-oriented items.

Here’s a fun idea. This game might take the whole of the bachelorette party, but it’s a fun one that involves all the guests, helps them get to know one another and provides video proof you all had a good time. You need video cameras for this game, so if the host only has one camera, be sure to ask guests to bring more video cameras. Make sure you also have enough blank tapes for this game.

Depending on the number of guests at the party, you’ll divide the party into two or more groups. It’s best to divide the group into teams small enough so that the whole team can get into one car. So you’ll have maybe five women on each team. You’ll give each team a video camera, blank videotapes and a list of “scavenger hunt” type activities they must perform and tape.

Some video scavenger hunt ideas include having a complete stranger sing the national anthem, having a member of the team sing “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer hot dog” in the meat section of the grocery store and taping a stranger who can do a good impersonation of John Wayne.

The teams should be given a specific amount of time in which to complete their assigned tasks and then return to the party location (ideally, a home, in this case). The videos are viewed and the teams vote on the team that did the best. Bonus points are given for the team that creates their own stunts.

Bachelorette party games are not only designed to bring fun to the party, but sometimes to help people get to know one another. This might be a good opportunity for the bride’s best friend to get to know the sister of the groom, or for the bride to get close to the groom’s cousin or niece. So an icebreaker game isn’t a bad idea.

This isn’t perhaps the most intellectual of an icebreaker game, but it will likely break the ice early in the evening before you head out to other events. Play a game called “I never…” and see who takes the most drinks. So the first woman says, “I never…” and completes the sentence. The women who have done the thing the first woman says she’s never done take a drink. Then the next woman claims to have “never” done something.

Some suggestions for this game are: “I never …”
*Lied about my age
*Lied about my weight
*Shoplifted
*Got a speeding ticket
*Ran naked through my house

PPPPP

Kids Wedding Reception Activities

Not all brides and grooms want to exclude children from their wedding. Many are happy to welcome children into their wedding both as members of the wedding party and as guests.

Having children at a wedding, however, poses a myriad of problems. Do you leave the children to their own devices and hope they behave and don’t get in the way? Do you provide a room with childcare so they are “present” but not too much under foot? Perhaps the best solution is a simple mix of both, with a smattering of fun built in.

First of all, if children are invited to the wedding, take into consideration the ages of the children. Babies will have to stay with mom and/or dad, for a variety of reasons. So planning to have all the children in another room might not be feasible. But if the children are toddlers up to about age 12, you can provide a separate room for them with childcare and a make a number of activities available to them.

If the children will be in a separate room at the reception, you can provide a coloring table, perhaps a TV with an appropriate movie ready to roll, and some board games. That could probably be enough for the duration of the wedding reception. Be aware of a few things: there should be a ratio of at least 1 adult for every 5 children if the children are toddlers, or 1 adult to every 10 children if the kids are older. Don’t expect the kids to take up the activities on their own, but rather tell the childcare provider to get the kids involved in the activities by doing them him or herself.

What if the children will be part of the reception festivities? What activities can be geared specifically to children at the reception? There are plenty of things you can do, really. You can certainly plan a coloring table at the back of the reception hall or room. There, you can provide loads of paper, coloring books, markers and crayons. Paints are not recommended, for obvious reasons, and moms will thank you if you remember to supply the kids with washable markers and crayons only.

The art table can be more than just coloring, however. Buy a huge bag of pipe cleaners. Kids can amuse themselves for long periods of time, making animals, odd figures and the like. Make sure you have at least 20 or more pipe cleaners for each child, however, as children can go through these quickly. Think about “clean” clay, the new products that don’t stick to anything and don’t leave a trace on furniture. With a few different colors, kids can create a variety of figures, faces or forms.

Many brides like to plan more formally for their small guests. There are several options if this is the route you want to take. One popular option is to have paid entertainment on hand just for the children. This can take place in a separate room or toward the back of the reception room or hall if it’s large and the guest list is big. You can hire a clown or a balloon artist. You can have someone braid the children’s hair and provide temporary tattoos. If there is a separate room available, you can even hire a children’s musician to come and entertain the kids. The options are endless.

If no plans are made for the children, but they arrive at the wedding expecting entertainment, you’ll have to make some plans. One option is a “child only” dance, which allows only the children on the dance floor. This is not only cute to watch, and could be entertaining as well, but it will bring a smile to the face of every grandma and grandpa present.

PPPPP

Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Games

Wedding rehearsal dinners are a time to relax, calm down and enjoy a quiet evening before the big event the next day. But adding some fun and games into the rehearsal dinner isn’t such a bad idea. It’s a great way to help everyone let off some steam, calm down and enjoy each other.

If you’re planning a sit-down formal dinner, fun games and activities can still be on the menu. In fact, if a formal dinner is part of the plans, having some interesting activities on the agenda is not only a good idea, but also an excellent one. There’s been a lot of planning, and a lot of stress and the wedding party and close friends and family will welcome the opportunity to have a little fun.

The success or failure of any games or activities largely depends not just on the planning but your venue. If you’re having a sit-down dinner in a restaurant, try to get a private room. Then a myriad of fun activities can be planned, such as “pin the veil on the bride”, in which blindfolded guests spin around a few times, then try to pin the veil on a picture of the bride. Silly, yes, but also fun.

One fun activity sure to help everyone blow off some steam is charades. Whoever is up will act out a scene from the bride or groom’s life, so it might be when graduating from college, or getting a huge promotion at work. The “it” person might choose to act out when the bride tripped and fell at another person’s wedding or when the groom saved a dog from getting hit by a car. This is a little twist on charades that helps people get to know the bride and groom better, and adds intimacy to what is already an intimate event.

If the wedding rehearsal dinner is a bit less formal and held in someone’s home, there are many more activities that can take place. For example, how about a night of playing board games? Who needs formal food? You can have that the next day at the formal wedding. At this rehearsal dinner party, the games are center stage.

Bring in some sandwiches and tell everyone to wear their comfortable clothes and settle in for a night of board games. You can set up games on different tables, divide people into groups of 4 or 5 and have everyone rotate tables at designated times. You can even instruct game players that when they move to another table, the game stays out the way it is. So, for example, dad might begin playing Monopoly where the bride was and he’s stuck with only a little money in the bank and no houses on Boardwalk.

So, let’s say the bride and groom are big into sports. If the wedding is to be held in the summer and the days are long, how about a game of touch football or baseball? You can play bride’s family against groom’s family, men against women, or for a twist, the bride plays with the groom’s family and the groom with the bride’s family. Any combination works. The idea here is to have some fun, relax and enjoy each other’s company.

Other outdoor activities can include anything that is physical and might help people blow off steam. Has the bride been more a “bridezilla” than anything? How about a game of tag where she’s it? Or you can create two bridesmaid’s dress-up trunks. Go to a thrift store, fill the trunks with old prom dresses and large-size shoes, and costume jewelry. Divide the guests into two different teams and have someone sit with a timer. The team who dresses one of the men (ideally, the groom and best man or perhaps the two dads) first wins. Be sure to have a camera at the rehearsal dinner/event, because this is one activity you’ll want to have pictures of!

PPPPP

Fun Ideas For Unity Candles

If you are planning a wedding and plan to have a unity candle as part of the ceremony, you might want to think outside the box.

Traditionally, the unity candle involves three candles. The bride has one, the groom the other, and their two lighted candles light the third candle. This is done to represent the coming together of the two people to make one unit. In some alternate methods, family members are invited to participate in the unity candle lighting, often the mothers of the bride and groom, or other close members of the family. Each family then lights a candle, and together they light the unity candle to symbolize of the coming together of the families.

Now, there are a few twists you can add to this fairly conventional aspect of a wedding ceremony. You can provide each guest with an unlit candle when they arrive at the ceremony. After the couple lights the unity candle, they can ask the guests to move to the front of the church (or wherever the ceremony is being held) and light their candles with the lighted unity candle. This can take a bit of time and might be best with a smaller guest list. But it is a meaningful way to not only get your guests involved in the ceremony itself, but also symbolize the union of family and friends with the marriage.

If there is a large guest list and it would be a prohibitive waste of time to do a candle lighting involving everyone at the ceremony, some brides and grooms like to bring the unity candle to the reception. Light the candle again and provide each guest with a small votive candle (the candle holder will be on the tables at individual table settings). As guests come into the reception area or hall, they can light their votive and take it to their table to place into the votive holder. This small votive candle can double as a wedding favor, particularly if you decorate or enhance a plain votive candleholder in some way to coordinate with your wedding.

Of course, you can forget having a unity candle at the ceremony altogether. Many brides these days are trying to reduce the length of the ceremony and spend more time planning the reception. In that light, some choose to do away with a unity candle altogether. You can certainly do this, or you can cut it out of the ceremony and make it part of the reception.

To do this, you can use the votive candle option suggested above, or you can simply incorporate the unity candle lighting into the reception activities themselves. For example, you might choose a quiet moment in the reception to have a lighting of the unity candle. It might be during a short prayer prior to the serving of the meal, or right before the cake is cut. In this case, the unity candle can then be used as decoration on the cake table. As the bride and groom cut the cake and pieces are served to guests, the candle can also serve as a reminder of the couple’s new bond and that the bond is shared with all the guests as well.

Although having a unity candle at the wedding or reception isn’t necessary, it is certainly an option that many brides and grooms opt to include. But it’s important to remember that as with so much surrounding wedding planning there are ways to make it unique and interesting and special to the couple getting married.

PPPPP